Life's too short to blind people with rock salt.

sylphoftime:

to this day i think the best response to street harassment is when i saw this two dickheads from my block riding around yelling at girls and they screamed “SHOW US YOUR TITS” to this one woman who was running and she just took off her sunglasses and stared them down and you could hear “OH FUCK THAT’S MY MOM HIT THE GAS” and i’m pretty sure that boy is still grounded

(via oneofthestarkids)

So you're not a shaker, ok then are you, a… hugger?

(Source: peterparkerdaily, via missmichellebelle)

asmilinggoddess:

asmilinggoddess:

now that im in the space mood i’d like to remind each and every one of you that NASA drew a dick on mars. we drew a dick on another planet.  that is mankind’s legacy.

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THIS IS AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE SURFACE OF MARS. PLEASE NEVER FORGET THIS.

(via sexuallyambiguousnerd)

somethingwittythiswaycomes:

themaleanachronism:

icoulduseinsouciantmaybe:

tastysoup:

honchcrow:

#but when are they hiring?

This is like the most urgent sign I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Whereas this is the most passive-aggressive sign.


Im laughing so hard omg

somethingwittythiswaycomes:

themaleanachronism:

icoulduseinsouciantmaybe:

tastysoup:

honchcrow:

#but when are they hiring?

This is like the most urgent sign I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Whereas this is the most passive-aggressive sign.

image

Im laughing so hard omg

image

(Source: lindsaylohanthony, via oneofthestarkids)

muchymozzarella:

tapdancers:

Keeping The Same Tabs Open For 9 Days Straight Because They Contain Information Relevant To Tasks You’re Too Lazy To Complete - A novel by me

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yup

(Source: xbox420, via starkid-nerdfighter)

tramampoline:

Favourite jokes

  • Referring to any four-legged animal as a weird dog
  • Massively underestimating the number of nearly uncountable objects
  • Massively overestimating the number of clearly countable objects
  • Bad puns in TV episode titles

(via starkid-nerdfighter)

seachelsters:

starwobbles:

friendship love is so confusing
its like ‘hm yes id like to bring u flowers and compliment u and make u the happiest person on earth but no romo’

no romo

(via crazyforwaffles)

bigeyesandstarrynights:

that was the best thing I have read in about 10 years.

(Source: best-of-memes, via get-back-to-hogwarts)

queen-of-fallen-angels:

jaxs-the-fallen-angel:

howling-rising-demon:

princess-dickhead:

delzdesigns:

Imagine having 2 dads, and then them divorcing and dating other men. Then you’d have 4 dads.

The amount of dad jokes…

"I’m hungry"
"Hi hungry, I’m dad."
"Hi dad, I’m dad too!"
"Hi dad too, I’m dad three."
"Hi dad three, I’m dad."

What have you done

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(via get-back-to-hogwarts)

nowtrytherest:

Just remember: even if you can’t slay dragons and shoot fireballs from your hands, you can step over small objects in your path, and that makes you more badass than a lot of video game characters.

(via imaginegoats)

Barry Allen, the Fastest Man Dork Alive

(Source: dehaans, via huntbastian)